Newsletter (2 - Holy Trinity Lutheran College

Last week I was formally announced to the HTLC community as the appointed Executive Principal of Wimmera Lutheran College, officially commencing this role in 2025. I am humbled and honoured to be chosen by the selection panel and am looking forward to the exciting opportunity to lead the amalgamated entity next year. Whilst my role won’t officially commence until next year, there is much that can be done this year to prepare for the start of the new school year. A Wimmera Lutheran College committee consisting of representatives from the three school boards, the three current principals and representatives from LEVNT are meeting regularly to discuss important governance and operational matters. I look forward to sharing updates of these meetings with the Horsham, Dimboola and Nhill communities. I would also like to thank those people who have shared with me messages of support and encouragement following the announcement. Your support means so much to me and I look forward to serving the communities of all three campuses next year.

The one who rules, Jesus taught, should be like the one who serves (Luke 22:26). Greatness in God's sight is not found in how many people serve the leader but rather in how faithfully the leader serves others.

Staffing update

Mr Murray McKenzie will leave HTLC at the conclusion of this term. I thank Murray for his dedication and commitment to all of the subject areas he has been across including Health and PE, Humanities and Vocational Major. Murray has worked hard to develop strong relationships throughout the college community, especially with the students in his care. On behalf of the HTLC community, I thank Murray for his contribution to HTLC over the past 18 months and wish him and his family all the best for his next chapter.

As one door closes, another door opens and in this instance, two doors will open as we prepare to welcome two new staff members next term. Mrs Hayley McIntyre will join the team teaching a combination of Middle School English and Science and VCE PE (in preparation for Mrs Jess Erhardt’s maternity leave).

Mrs Roxy Tippet will join HTLC teaching a combination of Years 7-10 English and Health and PE. Mrs Tippet has already been doing some CRT days at HTLC and we look forward to welcoming her as she officially starts her role next semester.

Mrs Elsbeth Schneider will return from maternity leave next semester for three days, teaching English classes at VCE level and in the Middle School. Welcome back Elsbeth.

Congratulations to Mr Conor Lawson on the safe arrival of his newborn son, Patrick John Lawson. Mr Lawson will be on extended paternity leave as he cares for his newborn son and partner Hayley and the college community wishes him all the best for this exciting next chapter in his life.

Finally, I would like to extend my thanks to the HTLC community for their contribution to a busy and productive Term 2. I pray that staff and students get a well-deserved break over the next two weeks and look forward to welcoming everyone back for the beginning of Term 3. Please stay safe and enjoy the extended break.

Mr Jason Przibilla, Acting College Principal

Reports

Reports should be published today and accessed through The Hub, the school’s communication portal. An email was sent this morning with details on how to access these reports. If you have any issues, please contact ictsupport@htlc.vic.edu.au.

When reading a report or looking through a portfolio of work your child has completed, it is important to sit down with your child, and let them tell the story of their learning to you. We are looking to create lifelong learners, who are passionate about learning, so praise the effort component of the report.

As a parent, you want to know from the reporting how your child is doing. If you have difficulty ascertaining this, please make time to talk through the report or portfolio with your teacher.

I congratulate all students and teachers on their application to learning this semester, and wish everyone God’s blessing as you find time to rest, relax and find peace in a change of routine in life.

Taking a break

After finishing 2023 as the acting Head of Junior School, and beginning this year in the Learning and Teaching Coordinator role, Mrs Jacqui North is extending her break time by two weeks with some long service leave. We wish you well, Mrs North, as you recharge your batteries and thank you for your hard work in the past year!

Learning review for Term 3

There will be a few minor changes to our learning support between this term and the next. When I have presented these changes to the principal, those that are signed off will be communicated to the classes involved.

'Crazy playspace' (southern end of oval)

As the F-2 draw to an end their technologies design unit, I thought I’d share a book with you that the learning program has been roughly modelled on. It is called Rosie Revere, the Engineer.

We will continue to tinker with, and adjust the ‘crazy playground’ as we experience ‘a flop’ or two, add elements and take some away. This learning is called longitudinal learning, as it occurs over months and years as opposed to regular short term timetabled learning!

Thank you to Verity (pictured with Mrs North) and her family, who donated some sand to the nature playground!

Book Week and Grandparents' Day next term - advance notice

Please note that next term Book Week dress-up day is Monday, 5 August (Week 4). This year the theme is Reading is Magic. You can stick to the theme or dress up in anything that has been in a book! It is good to have advance notice and something for kids to keep in mind during the holidays as they might think about what to dress up in on this day!

On that same week, Friday, 9 August will be the last day of Book Fair and Grandparents' Day. It is also good to have advance notice here to invite grandparents or make other arrangements to have a special guest visiting school on this day!

Trinity Drive crossing

There has always been a crossing for students that crosses from the school to the retirement village side of the road. In a traffic review, we will delete this crossing, and reroute any cycles or pedestrians to the Middle School if students need to cross to the rest home.

This should create greater efficiency for the 'kiss and drop' zone (quick pick-up), where parents remain in their cars while students are dropped off or picked up.

Coming events

Next term

The current dates I have for the Junior School in Term 3 are as below:

29 July-2 August - Science Week; Secondary School musical
Tuesday, 30 July - Foundation Fun Day for 2025 prospective and enrolled students
Friday-Saturday, 2-3 August - human powered vehicle competition in Tailem Bend
Monday-Friday, 5 August-9 August - Book Week and Literacy Week
Thursday, 12 September - F-2 Performing Arts Showcase
Saturday, 14 September - RoboCup Victoria competition
20-22 September- Human powered vehicle competition in Murray Bridge

Term 4

Friday of Week 2 - HONK! Years 3-6 musical

Blessings on this flexitime period everyone! Travel safely for those who are, and we will see you next term!

In Christ,

Mr Adam Borgas, Head of Junior School

Celebrating Teaching and Learning

Being a part of the Foundation 2025 student interview process this year has been an absolute pleasure! It is such an exciting time in a child’s journey when they take their first steps in education and we are blessed to have the opportunity to lead them through this. We look forward to the Foundation Fun Day on Tuesday, 30 July, where we can meet these bright new students, engage them in some fun activities and take an opportunity to inform parents about school readiness. Registration is essential, and we welcome you to share this information with other families if they are interested in learning more about our college for their child’s education.

Awards

FJ: Holly C and Baxter A, FL: Quinn B and Florence C, 1H: Marshall K, Paddy S, Jonty L and Riley H, 1P: Brodie A, Devine U and Jack B, 2H: Ari M, 2S: Zidane F, 3B: Deaken-James S and Indiana O, 3D: Edith B, Jayla E and Sophia P, 4F: Sienna M, Addisyn K and Lily A, 4M: Bernardita dR and Edie H, 4R: Maddox W, Havish G, Mason McD and Mia H, 5D: Lachlan H and Ava L, 5A: Phuri P and Connor D, 6H: Luella B and Adam C, 6N: Charlotte W and Claire R, 6V: Chayse B and Olivia C. Specialist awards: Digital Technology: Luella B, Chinese: Louie F, Grace B and Bodhi B.

Our Trinity Tiger (5-6) Award recipient was Arden H, Trinity Cub (3-4) Jack S and Trinity Cub (F-2) Henry M.

Mrs Jacqui North, Junior School Teaching and Learning Coordinator

A well-earned break

As we come to the end of another term, we are able to reflect on the ways in which our students have continued to develop as learners, to manage their acquisition of skills and knowledge, capably and with increasing confidence.

Ongoing illness throughout the term has fostered the development of independent learning skills as students have readily accessed online resources provided by their teachers.

We congratulate each of our students on their achievements throughout Semester 1. Enjoy a well-earned break!

Reports and interviews

Today, a summary of results and feedback posted throughout the semester has been made available to parents on The Hub.

Staff will be available to discuss individual progress with both parents and students during the first week of Term 3, on Tuesday, 16 July from 3.30pm to 8pm and Thursday, 18 July from 3.30pm to 6.30pm. Information regarding the procedure for booking interviews was shared with parents yesterday and bookings are now open.

This is an important time in the year to review current achievements and plan for Semester 2. It is for this reason that both Middle School and Senior School parents are strongly encouraged to attend with their child/ren.

Subject selection and interviews

Interviews for students entering Senior School in 2025 will commence early in Term 3. Potential options for future pathways and current selections will be confirmed. Our original timeline has been pushed back to align with VCE selection and our partner schools.
Students commencing a VCE course will also have the opportunity to attend a personal pathway interview following our VCE subject conferences evening.

Further information will be provided at the beginning of Term 3.

Important Secondary School dates

Friday, 28 June – Reports sent home

Year 12

Tuesday, 29 October-Wednesday, 20 November – VCE written examinations

Monday, 29 July – VTAC applications open

Tuesday, 22 October – Last day for Year 12

Friday, 22 November – Year 12 Valedictory Dinner and Worship Service

Mrs Sally Kuchel, Head of Senior School

My work experience, by Blessing DB

This term, our Year 10s have gone out on work experience. Below, one of our students shares her experience in Melbourne.

For my work experience, I went to the Walter and Eliza Hall Institute of Medical Research. It was a very insightful and rewarding experience that deepened my knowledge of and passion for biology and chemistry. Additionally, it allowed me to meet some amazing people and view truly remarkable things.

On my first day, I was introduced to my work experience peers and supervisors, and I discovered I would be observing work from the proteomics laboratory. There was a tour of the magnificent WEHI building, viewing multiple labs including genomics, microscopy and drug discovery, followed by an ethics workshop where we learned about human and animal ethics and what the average day of an animal technician may look like.

Throughout Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, my lab partner Georgia and I worked with our supervisors in the Dagley lab, following, observing, listening and learning from everyone, as well as physically contributing to an experiment that supervisor Samantha Emery was working on. Dr Emery’s experiment focused on discovering a biomarker for bleeding during neonatal cardiopulmonary bypass surgery. Samantha had a collection of 200 plasma samples from babies that were to undergo CPB, but to run them through the analysis technology of mass spectrometry (MS), the plasma had to be broken down into peptides. This, along with some tissue culture in a PC-2 facility, is what the physical component of my work experience was mostly made up of. Centrifugation, cell lysis and stage-tipping procedures were used to separate the proteins into peptides, and then the mass spectrometry machine was used to analyse and gather data from our sample. I must admit that it was incredibly hard to get my head around all the university-level physics and chemistry knowledge that came with understanding MS, and I do believe it provided insight into whether proteomics is a field I would consider entering.

On Thursday, the results had finished processing, and it was found that they had an error, which was disappointing. The mistake most likely occurred as a result of my novice sample preparation skills, and I believe it shows how the path to scientific discovery is never easy. However, it is still dissatisfying that after three days of work, there is no credible data to show. Aside from the analysis of our data, Thursday also brought an exciting trip down to the Royal Melbourne Hospital Anatomical Pathology Laboratory. This may have been my favourite part of the experience, which shows my preference for handling organs and tissue rather than viewing a microscope slide or colourful graph. During the tour, I witnessed the sample preparation of a section of neck tissue that was being dissected for lymph nodes that could show the progression of cancer in the patient, and a large piece of the lower right lung being divided into sections to be analysed for bronchiolitis. I witnessed the paraffinization of a tissue sample and saw the machines and techniques used to stain the slides. Finally, on Friday, we gave presentations to our supervisors and the work experience cohort and said our goodbyes.

In summary, my week at the Walter and Eliza Hall Institute of Medical Research has given me a good idea of how a laboratory operates and how research is conducted, and it has provided me with knowledge of my likes and dislikes and how this will affect my future career selection. It was a wonderful experience, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to participate in the program as well as for everyone who worked behind the scenes to aid me in being there for the experience.

Year 4 Hoop Time

Last Friday, Mr Przibilla, Miss McDonald and our Year 8 coach, Kirrily D, supported a host of Year 4 students as they represented HTLC at the Hoop Time division event in Horsham. This was a big day for our students, with many of our 'rookies' having their first opportunity to participate in competitive basketball, while our 'all stars' teams were competing for their chance to move on to the regional finals.

Both 'all stars' teams managed to get one win on the day and were ably supported by our coaching team. Thank you to all the people involved in making the day happen.

The Year 5-6 Hoop Time teams have been selected and will begin their training early in Term 3.

AHPVSS round three: Adelaide six-hour

Although a torrential downpour stopped the race for a brief period, no rain could dampen the spirits of the 12 HTLC students who travelled to Victoria Park in Adelaide on Friday last week to race in round three of the Australian HPV Super Series.

Both our boys and girls teams had some exceptionally strong competition throughout the event, with many of the elite school teams from Adelaide and the Murraylands participating on their home turf, which is also a regular training venue for them.

At the halfway stage of the race, our boys were 11th overall and sixth in their category, while our girls were 20th overall and had just managed to take a narrow one-lap lead over their nearest rivals. By the end of the six hours, the boys were seventh overall and fourth in their category, while the girls were 17th overall and had a 15-lap lead over second place in their category. Congratulations to Aizla S, Maddie H, Charlotte K and Victoria W for their results. Victoria also claimed the fastest lap for her category, whipping around the 1.16-kilometre circuit in 2:03.559, an average speed of almost 40 kilometres an hour!

In total, the students rode 293.48 km in six hours, which is the equivalent of riding from Horsham through Bacchus Marsh to be about 20 km outside of Melbourne.

Greater Western Region senior boys soccer

We also had a team of Year 11 and Year 12 boys travel to Ballarat to represent HTLC in the Greater Western Region boys soccer. With no teams to play against in the Black Ranges division, HTLC were able to progress straight to regionals. For a team with relatively low levels of experience, the boys were not outclassed on the pitch, experiencing two close-fought losses and one draw. It is fantastic to see the students from the Senior School attending sporting events as part of their study-life balance. Thanks to Mr Prouse for transporting the students and coaching the team on the day.

Year 5-6 Winter Sport

Friday last week was also the final day of Winter Sport for the 2024 school year. Thank you to all of the teachers and parent volunteers who stepped in to assist with coaching, training or umpiring for this event. It is impossible to give our students opportunities beyond the classroom without the support and assistance of dedicated volunteers. The time and effort that you put in is definitely appreciated.

Greater Western Region primary AFL

On Wednesday, about 20 Year 5 and Year 6 students travelled to Ararat to participate in the Greater Western Region primary AFL competition. The students had a great day, despite the cold weather, but unfortunately were unable to come away with any wins. Thanks to Mrs North and Mrs McDonald for coaching the team and supervising the students on the day.

Representative uniform returns

With the end of one of the busiest terms of the year for sport, please be reminded that all HTLC representative uniforms remain the property of the college. Students have been loaned a uniform through the school borrowing system and will be required to return these uniforms, once they have been washed, within one week of their competition. As this is tracked electronically, students will be unable to borrow more uniforms until their previous items have been returned.

Coming events

July

14 - Victorian Schools Mountain Bike Series round two

18 - State cross-country

18 - Black Ranges intermediate (Years 9-10) basketball

22 - Black Ranges senior (Years 11-12) basketball

31 - Year 5-6 Hoop Time basketball

August

3 - AHPVSS round four: Tailem Bend eight-hour

4 - Victorian Schools Mountain Bike Series round three

7 - Greater Western Region Year 8 soccer

14 - Little Desert primary volleyball

21 - Black Ranges Year 7 and Year 8 volleyball

September

2 - State boys netball

3 - Black Ranges Year 7 basketball

4 - Black Ranges Year 8 basketball

7 - Victorian Schools Mountain Bike Series round four

8 - Victorian Schools Mountain Bike Series round five

10 - Greater Western Region Year 7 and Year 8 volleyball

12 - Little Desert primary athletics

20 - AHPVSS round six: Murray Bridge 24-hour

Mr Matthew McLoughlin, F-12 Sport Coordinator

If you have a child who is a chronic non-listener, my first piece of advice is to rule out medical issues. A quick visit to the GP will give you the answers you need. Appointments for the doctor can be hard to book though, and there is definitely a level of expense many of us would rather do without. If that’s you, then a cheaper test is to stand by the door and quietly ask who wants ice-cream (or who wants some money to go buy treats at the shop). If your child jumps up with an enthusiastic yes, your hearing test is probably complete.

Assuming there are no physiological hearing issues, there are a host of other reasons that our children won’t “listen”. But the reality is that they can hear. They are listening. We’re not speaking correctly when we complain that our children won’t listen. Perhaps a better question might be why don’t our children do as they’re asked?

There are countless reasons that our children don’t follow our instructions. These can include:

Not wanting to be told what to do (which is probably a bit like us right?)
A hyper-focus on what they’re doing right now
A preference to do something/anything other than what we’re asking them to do
Being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, or Stressed (HALTS)
How many things they’ve already been asked to do
It’s too early in the day
It’s too late in the day
The way we’re asking them/telling them to do that thing
Not actually having the skill or ability to do as they’ve been asked

And so many more reasons…

In many cases, it’s not just one thing, but a combination of things. Being attuned to our children’s capability and mental state can help us to understand when we should be asking, what we should be asking, and how we should be asking.

Parents have an obligation to help children follow rules. It’s how civil society operates. And while we’re keeping it real, let’s be honest and recognise that beyond those considerations, it’s just more convenient.

So what do we do when our kids “won’t listen” and it actually does matter?

They actually do listen.

If you pause and do a small audit of how well your children listen, you might be pleasantly surprised. Unless you are responding to a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, you’ll probably discover that your child does listen. Regularly. Consistently. And well.

So pause and consider when they do and when they don’t. You may find that things are going better than you thought. But… we all want to do things a little better. So let’s consider seven simple ways to build and encourage listening - and compliance. (And please note, I’ll be emphasising respectful approaches where compliance isn’t all about authority, control, command, and coercion).

The basic answers

You’ll typically find that a handful of standard answers permeate the internet and parenting advice books when it comes to this topic. Let’s acknowledge them first, because they can be helpful.

#1 Keep it simple

Short sentences are easier to process than long lectures. Keep your statements and requests simple, clear, and direct.

#2 Get on your child’s level

Making eye contact, smiling, and ensuring your child has heard you always improves the likelihood that your child will act.

#3 Repeat it back

Ask your child to tell you what you told them. If you ask them to pick up the wet towels from the bathroom floor and they’re not responsive, ask them, “What did I say just then?” and wait for them to tell you. When they can repeat it back, you know they’ve listened, and they know you expect action.

#4 Speak more quietly

When our children are not listening, we have a tendency to elevate the volume. But remember, your child is not deaf. Speaking louder (yelling) won’t draw them to you and it’s unlikely to encourage them to want to listen to you. Try speaking softly. They’ll open their ears, lean in, and listen carefully.

#5 Gentle touch

A soft touch on the arm, a squeeze or a hug, or an arm across the shoulder… these gentle touches can be enough to act as a circuit-breaker so your child can pay attention to what you’re asking and help move things along.

#6 Drop the don’t

Say what you want. If you tell your child what not to do (such as “don’t hit the stick against the wall) it requires more effort on the part of your child to redirect their energies. Now they have to stop doing the thing that’s bothering you and think of something to do instead.

#7 Find a way to say "yes"

When you have to say “no”, spin it into a “yes”. If you’re asked “Can we stay at the park longer?” you can say, “You bet. We’ll have a longer stay at the park on the weekend when we come back with your friends.” If they plead, “Can we please have ice-cream”, respond with “You sure love ice-cream. We’ll have ice-cream on Friday night with our movie like always.” Your yes is usually going to be a “not now”, but if you phrase it right, it goes down a treat.

These seven strategies will help you move things forward if you’re stuck. But… they’re all essentially built around what is convenient for us. Their foundation is that stuff has to be done and the kids need to get with the program.

A couple of bonus ideas. In all of these strategies, two other principles will often help. I share them briefly below:

Where you can, offer a clear rationale for your requests. If your child understands the why of what you’re asking, s/he is much more likely to comply because the request makes sense. And
Make it fun. While everything doesn’t have to be fun, and life isn’t always a circus, tasks, jobs, chores, and whatever else you might like to call them are always easier when they’re enjoyable.

If you would like to read to full article please find it here: happyfamilies.com.au/articles/what-to-do-when-kids-wont-listen

HTLC have partnered with Happy Families to offer free premium memberships to all HTLC families! To access your free membership please click here.

Friendship Fact #4 reminds children that: Friendships change… and that’s okay! But, the reality is, it doesn’t always feel okay at first. Sometimes, it feels painful and hard and we see kids resisting the change.

This Friendship Fact is, undoubtedly, the hardest one for tweens to wrap their heads around. As kids approach adolescence, it is very common for their friendships to shift. This is a dynamic stage in their development, as they begin to figure out who they are and what they believe in. Naturally, changing interests and opinions results in changing friendships.

It’s important for children to accept that friendships are always changing because we are always changing. Not all friendships were meant to last forever and we want them to get comfortable with the natural ebb and flow of friendship. Like the Marie Kondo Method, if it doesn’t spark joy, it’s time to let it go.

Change can feel really hard and sometimes children struggle to accept the very normal, common process of growing apart from a friend. In more serious circumstances, where they’ve been friends for a very long time, a friendship break-up can feel as painful as death – the equivalent of losing a loved one. Depending on the depth of the friendship, some children may go through, what David Kessler and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross have identified as, The 6 Stages of Grief. For a child, a friendship break-up might look something like this:

Denial: They hold on to the way the friendship used to be and try to act like it hasn’t changed, perhaps still referring to this person as their best friend (despite it not feeling that way)
Anger: They feel frustrated with their friend and annoyed by the little things, sparking lots of little (and big) Friendship Fires®
Depression: This is the stage where they really take it personally and tears emerge, sometimes crying a lot after school when they get home. Older children might appear sullen or withdrawn
Bargaining: In this stage, they might be opening up a little more, sharing their story with others and seeking comfort
Acceptance: They begin to form new friendships and come to terms with ‘letting go’ of the friendship
Meaning: This is when they can look back on the situation and feel a sense of gratitude for what they learned from this friendship

Whether you feel your child is working their way through the stages of grief and loss, or is simply just adjusting to the “new normal” of a changing friendship, there are lots of ways you can support them.

Here is a list of strategies to help your child move forward after a friendship break-up depending on how they’re coping:

Is your child struggling with self-respect? Continue to remind them they deserve healthy, Green-Zone friends.

For a child who is clinging on to a friend who is trying to push them away, you might ask them: “Why on Earth would you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t want to be friends with you?” This statement creates a lightbulb moment, helping them begin to see the importance of self-respect. Try this activity: Boundary Building
Keep linking their experience to The Friend-o-Meter. Ask your child, “Where is your friendship on the Friend-o-Meter today? Wow! Red again? That’s a lot of days in the Red-Zone! What colour friendships do you deserve?” Try this activity called: Must-Haves, Deal-Breakers, & Ice-Cream or watch Session 7 of our Language of Friendship video series called: Dealing with an Unhealthy Relationship
Continue to shift their attention to positive, feel-good friendships. Ask them, “I know you’re missing the way your friendship used to be with Zach. Can you think of any Green-Zone friends you have now? What about Nathan? He is so kind and caring – he seems like a Green-Zone friend!”
Do you feel, ultimately, their struggle is connected to their lacking sense of self-worth? We have a whole section devoted to activities focused on Building Self-Worth. Give the Unwrapping Your Gifts activity a try – it will tug at your heartstrings!

Is your child focusing on the negative? Try to shift their mindset to gratitude.

Help them acknowledge what that friendship gave them and what they’ve learned. Try saying, “I know it’s really hard when a friendship ends. What did this friendship teach you? Have you learned anything?” Help them tap into the impact this friendship had on them, noting that even unhealthy friendships ultimately have lessons that improve the way we ‘do relationships’ in the future.
Share the sentiment: “We have different friends for different reasons in different seasons.” Discuss what this means, helping them come to terms with this very normal experience.

Is your child finding it hard to accept? Normalise their experience.

Share your stories. It’s comforting for children to know that it’s normal to grow apart from a friend. You might even share a story of a friend you grew apart from, but who came back into your life later on. This might give your child feelings of hope and optimism, recognising that friendships aren’t always gone forever…just for right now.
If it feels like they’re in denial, you might try saying: “That person you used to be friends with is not the same person. They’ve changed, just like you’re not the same person you were 2 years ago!”
If your child is a visual learner, metaphors are helpful. Say, “Go with the flow! Pull in the oars and let the current of friendship take you, rather than trying to paddle against the current.”

Is your child feeling empty or alone? Help them fill up again.

One-on-one time is a great way fast track the friend-making process. Whether it’s a playdate or a sleepover, create an opportunity for your child to feel close to new friends. Get your child to watch this video, where they will learn 4 easy ways to make new friends: Make Friends, Like a Ninja!
Give them fun, little challenges to get them excited about making new friends. For example, you might say: “Try to say hi to someone new today!” Celebrate with them if they achieved the goal.
Remind them of the importance of quality over quantity! Say, “It’s better to have one Green-Zone friend than a bunch of Orange-Zone friends!” Read this article: Quality over Quantity in Friendships
Help them tap into their strengths, focusing on the most important friendship of all – their friendship with themself. Make a list with them of all the activities that light them up and feel good. Like a distraction technique, this helps to shift their attention away from the break-up towards their strengths and passions. Doing things they love will help release positive emotions and even get them into a state of flow, which is powerful for their wellbeing. If they love skateboarding, put them in a skate camp or build a half-pipe! It’s a perfect time for them to try out a new hobby or hone in on their faves!

Is your child making it a bigger deal than it is? Help them gain perspective.

If they are catastrophising, you can ask them: “Will this matter in five days? Five months? Five years?” Help them see that, although it feels really big right now, in time it will feel like a thing of the past.
Sometimes a big, dramatic break-up is unnecessary and all that is required is a new understanding of what the friendship looks like now. Maybe it’s gone from We-Do-Everything-Together to We-Play-Together-Sometimes. (Try this activity: Spending Less Time) It’s an opportunity to redefine the friendship. Just because “best friends” doesn’t feel good anymore, doesn’t mean they can’t still be friends. It’s really about accepting and redefining the ‘new’ friendship. Get your child to learn about the WWW strategy (What works? What doesn’t work?) by watching this video: Feel-Good Friendships
As the saying goes, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Be there to support them, but ultimately remind them that friendships – even the ones we’ve lost – all leave a little imprint on our hearts. We can use these experiences as powerful “Teachable Moments” in our kids’ lives to help them feel a little more ‘okay’ with Friendship Fact #4.

One final note to consider: Are you, as the parent, making it a bigger deal than it really is? Are you projecting your own heartbreak or personal experiences of losing a friend onto your child? Is your child really struggling or are you the one finding it hard to accept this new reality? Maybe you were friends with that child’s parents? Or, perhaps you worry that nobody likes your child? Be sure to consider how you’re responding to this situation and maybe it’s worth rephrasing: Your child’s friendships will change…and that’s okay.

Written by Dana Kerford, Founder & Friendship Expert

HTLC is a URStrong, with these lessons being taught to students across the Junior School. Please check out the website and sign up for free to familiarise yourself with the language your child may use around friendships https://urstrong.com/parents/